148: Did You Know That You've Been Part of a Revolution?

So many women try to fix the pain of childlessness by avoiding baby showers, cutting off triggering friends, or demanding others say the “right thing.” But what if the true revolution isn’t about protecting yourself from the world… but reclaiming your place in it?

In this second episode of our 3-part closing series (so go back to ep. 147 if you haven't listened to it yet), we unravel the common mistakes women make when trying to relieve the pain of being “othered.” We revisit the work you’ve already done by listening to this podcast and show you what’s truly possible when you move from hiding to rising.

You are not just healing. You are leading. And your very presence is actually a part of a revolution that's changing the world.

What You’ll Hear:

• 4 ways women try to relieve pain that actually keep them stuck
• The cost of organizing your life around avoidance
• A powerful reflection on your journey with this podcast
• What becomes possible when childless women stop trying to fit in—and start taking up space

Continue being a part of the revolution by joining our last live cohort of the Women of Worth.  Email me "PROGRAM" at sheri@sherijohnson.ca and I'll send you the info!

Where to find Sheri:
Instagram: @sherijohnsoncoaching
Website: sherijohnson.ca

Transcript

I am back for Part 3  of this three-part series. 

   where I am closing down the podcast so if you missed episode  That's part one. Go back and listen to that. First, st because these really need to kind of go in order. 

   In the last episode I shared how the deepest ache 

           for childless women isn't always grief. 

   It's the belief that we're not enough. 

           We feel less than we feel like we don't belong. 

   and when we feel that way we try to protect ourselves. 

   we do things to relieve the sting. 

   and we don't always realize the cost of that. 

   And that's what I really want to talk about in in this episode is is the mistakes 

   that we make in order to lessen the sting 

   of not belonging of feeling less than of all the things that actually aren't grief. 

   So if you're ready for that, let's dive in 

   welcome back to the awakening worth. Podcast and if you're a new listener, welcome, there are lots of episodes for you to catch up on. And again, if you. 

   if you missed episode number 147 I would invite you to go back to that  st before listening to this one. 

   because this is part 2  of a three-part series, and I build upon each other. 

   So I really want you to catch the  1st part before we get into this second part. 

   Now, what I want to talk about today 

   is the mistakes that we make when we feel less than when we want to relieve the sting of 

   those triggers, those reactions when people say the insensitive things when 

   they say things that make us feel like we're second class citizens like we're not as good. 

   So let's let's talk about. I think I've got     mistakes. 

   Yeah. 

   Number one. 

   mistake number one, avoiding the things that might trigger us. 

   So this is, you're going to feel like this is a coping strategy. 

   It's protecting yourself. 

   And it's gonna feel like I'm challenging that that might feel like it doesn't make any sense. 

   But doing those things, avoiding the things that trigger us are. Actually. 

   it's it's your ego trying to protect you. And I don't mean that in a critical, judgmental way we all have egos 

   that try to protect us. It's your brain's way of of keeping you safe. 

   but they don't help us to reclaim our self-worth. 

   So, avoiding anything that might trigger us that that can include 

   trying to skip the family events, baby showers 

   quitting social media or staying off of it at certain times of the year. 

   And yes, you're absolutely right. Boundaries are vital, and avoidance can really shrink our world. 

   You don't actually need to avoid 

   life, because that's sometimes what it can become, especially if you are. If you're triggered by pregnant women or women with babies like all you have to do is walk down the street, and it's gonna feel like. 

   like everybody has a baby. It's going to be all you notice. You walk through the Mall. Everybody is pregnant. Everybody has a baby. Everyone in your life 

   has a family, and I want you to be able to experience life and not feel that way. 

   So avoiding, actually, you're going to feel like that's protecting your heart. 

   But what you actually need our tools to meet 

   life with your full self, to be able to fully show up for life, no matter what that is. 

   and that's if you listen to the last last episode. That's what I'm here for. 

   I have learned how to do this. I was there. 

   triggered by the pregnant women, by the women with babies, infants especially, and that no longer happens. 

   So I want you to get there, too. It's not going to happen with time. By the way, time doesn't. In fact, time can make it worse. 

   So if you don't do anything about it 

   all of those triggers what I've seen amongst my clients. They come to me because they're so fed up with it because it's gotten worse. 

   There's just more of them. 

   So that's the  st mistake. 

   Mistake number   getting angry at others for being insensitive. 

   And again, I totally understand why, that's your  st reaction. 

   When my hot buttons are hit. 

   That's the first.st That's the reaction I go to. It's my go-to. I get angry. I get annoyed, frustrated, irritated. 

   And yet what I see happening, and I do this 

   myself less so now that I've been working on it for so long, we replay conversations. 

   and then we rehearse the comebacks we 

   we think at least I'm not very quick witted. So in my mind I think of all the great things that I should have said, or that I wanted to say after I'm like home, and it's well past the moment. 

   So that's just keeping you in the anger. 

   The real pain is about what it stirred in you. 

   Their words landed. 

   They. They hit a nerve for you because there's a part of you that still questioned your value yourself. 

   So this is where I don't question my value anymore. 

   I've done. Go back to episode  , I've done all the work. 

   I don't show those signs of self-worth faltering anymore. 

   Because I've reclaimed that. 

   And I don't. 

   The the words, the things like Jd. Vance's comments. I talked about this on a prior episode. 

   When people say, Oh, childless women are selfish, they're miserable. They're they don't have a stake in our future because they don't have kids. 

   All those things. They just roll off of me, because that isn't for me. That isn't true. 

   but they won't roll off of you. They will stir something inside of you if a little part of you still believes, maybe that's true. 

   so that can be a really tough one to swallow. I understand that that one is really. 

   it can be really hard to understand. It might be new for you, and 

   we really get into that. In inside of the women of Worth 

   I have a whole workshop just on that, and how to change that. A trigger is like. 

   It's like a physical wound. If you have a cut on your shoulder, say. 

   and you cover it up with a Band-aid Band-aid bandage. 

   Then you put your sweater on and your jacket, and then you go out to meet a friend for coffee. 

   and she leans in for a hug. 

   She presses on that wound. 

   That wound is already there. 

   She's just pressing on it, and it's the same way with insensitive comments. 

   They're not actually causing the wound 

   they're pressing on a wound that's already there. 

   So what we do inside of the women of worth program is teach you how to actually heal the wound 

   so that it stops getting opened up 

   stops getting pressed on, and once you do that once you heal your inner wound 

   all those insensitive comments, they won't seem so insensitive anymore. They'll just roll off of you. 

   So that's 

   mistake. Number   is getting angry at others for being insensitive. You're just going to keep replaying that and and revitalizing that anger every time you replay it. 

   Number  , trying to prove that you're still a good woman. 

   I talked about this a little bit on the last podcast episode as well, and 

   we're conditioned to believe that mothers are selfless. 

   And so then, when we don't get to have kids, we will still try to prove 

   that we are selfless and that we still are, are trying to follow 

   what we are supposed to be. 

   And so what we do is over function 

   in our jobs and our families and our friendships. 

   We become the most helpful, the most supportive, maybe the most available person. 

   And for us so much of what we will call it doing our best, is actually trying to prove 

   that we're not selfish, that we are nurturing, that we are caring, that we like kids. 

   So that's mistake number  . And I certainly did a lot of that, especially in my early days 

   of just trying to have kids 

   after making the decision that it wasn't going to work for us. 

   Mistake number   shutting down or staying silent. 

   So this is something I see often 

   in the clients who come into my program and in my audience, my listeners. 

   And that's really telling yourself, well, why am I going to bother? No one will get it. 

   no one gets it. 

   And so what we do is keep telling ourselves. Well. 

   no one's going to understand. So I'm not going to talk about it. 

   I'm going to keep my feelings under wraps so that others aren't uncomfortable, so that I don't rain on anybody else's parade 

   because they have. They get to have this happy life with their kids. So I'm not going to bring them down. 

   I hear that all the time. I'm not going to be the Debbie Downer. I'm not going to reign 

   on the parade. When am I gonna bring this up when I'm with my girlfriends. I'm not. Gonna 

   I'm not going to spoil the fun and by staying silent. 

   What we're doing is perpetuating the misunderstanding, perpetuating the lack of compassion. If nobody actually knows that we're suffering. 

   if no one knows how we feel, then how can they support us? 

   How can they become more sensitive? 

   How can they become more compassionate? 

   So, going back to our self-worth, we tell ourselves that whenever we tell ourselves, well. 

   my grief isn't worthy. I'm gonna rain on someone else's parade. 

   They're not going to get it. 

   What we're telling our inner selves is that we're not worthy of being heard. 

   I'm gonna say that again. 

   When you say no one will get it. I'm not going to bother to talk about how I feel. 

   You're telling your inner soul, your true self that you're not worthy 

   of being listened to. You're not worthy of being heard, so I have a whole. 

   I have a whole module on connection, and how to actually talk about your feelings. 

   to connect with your friends who do have have kids who maybe don't understand. 

   We have all that laid out inside of the women of Worth. 

   There's a system, easy, simple process for doing that. 

   Well, what you need to know for now is that 

   you're not too much. Your feelings aren't too much. 

   You were just surrounded by a culture that doesn't know how to ask. 

   That doesn't know how to hold space for you and doesn't even know that you need space held for you. 

   Okay? So those are the mistakes. 

   What I want to. 

   Now that you're thinking, okay, maybe I'm making some of these mistakes. Or maybe you're really triggered and and thinking. 

   no, this is why I'm doing this. You might be really resisting. And that's okay. 

   It's totally fine. 

   I know that this is, I'm getting into the deep stuff here. These are like. 

   this is the stuff that I don't normally talk about on the podcast or in on Instagram posts, because it takes a bit more explaining sometimes to really 

   help. You understand. 

   So maybe if you're resisting. Come back and listen to this again 

   in the future, and it might hit a little differently. 

   And if it is hitting. 

   if you're finding that you're making these mistakes, and you're sort of having some. Aha! Moments. 

   This is what I want to shift you to now is is hope. 

   So? Just by coming and listening to this podcast. Every week. 

   Or maybe you're new here. And this is your  st episode. 

   You are doing the work. 

   Even if you didn't even realize it. Just listening to this, podcast is doing the work. 

   Every time you reflect on something thought, I suggest 

   that is doing the work. Every time you break down in tears. That's a release of emotion. 

   It doesn't replenish itself. 

   It's like there's   pool of grief inside of you, and the more you release the smaller the pool gets. 

   so the more crying you do, the better. 

   It's actually going to release that emotion 

   every time you question a belief. 

   Because I've told you to. 

   That's healing every time you saw yourself in another woman's story, because I've had lots of guests on here. 

   I've had some clients on here every time you see yourself in someone else's story you made 

   a little crack in the shame. 

   So 

   if you've been listening for a while, I hope that you've been able to see that this podcast wasn't just about sharing tips or information. It's really about a reclamation. 

   And that's what my framework inside the women of worth is all about. It's it's rise and reclaim. It's about 

   unbecoming what we've been taught stories. It's it's questioning the stories that patriarchy and pronatalism have narrated for us. 

   It's belonging. 

   So if you've been listening for a while hopefully, you're beginning to see yourself as worthy, and 

   that you're worthy of belonging and taking back control of your sense of belonging. 

   And maybe you've also begun to see your own powerful purpose. 

   You've been asking what now? 

   And turning that into what feels aligned, remembering your intuition. 

   what your soul or your higher self, what that sounds like. 

   and maybe you've begun to follow that 

   the way that I see you 

   is is not just a listener. 

   You were a part of something bigger. 

   And when you work on yourself, the way that you have been just by listening to this, podcast 

   you are changing the lives of the people around you, because, as you heal. 

   people behave differently around you, they say different things. 

   They see you differently. 

   And so there's a ripple effect to that. 

   And it's already begun just by being here just by listening. 

   And what I really want you to do next is to take that a hundred steps further and join us inside the women of worth. 

   because it's going to be closing down soon along with a podcast and moving on to something different, something 

   similar, but bigger. 

   And I really want you to have the opportunity 

   to transform in a way that you didn't even know was possible. 

   There's still still time to do that. You can still join our live cohort. 

   We're underway. By the time you listen to this 

   in our last, and you can still join. There's people still joining, and 

   we'll be providing you with a discount because you won't be able to, you'll be missing the  st call. 

   So join us and get that discount 

   and summertime is a perfect time to do it. Things slow down a little bit you might be traveling. You can take me on the road with you 

   in your ears. I do a lot of my lessons as audios. 

   so there's lots of ways that you can participate and gain so much from that I want you to transform, to continue to transform, because you already have been just by listening. So let's take that

   a hundred steps further. 

   You will feel like a different person. 

   I'm going to leave it at that. This is part   in my   part winddown. 

   Come back next week, and we will wind this up. I'm going to tell you what's coming next. 

   and we are going to close this out with a bang, so join me, see you, then.